The little birds at Twitter are terrified. They’re squawking, shedding feathers, and scratching at the cage surrounding their safe space while Elon Musk stalks outside – prodding his paws through the bars.
Yesterday, Musk announced his 9.2% stake in Twitter worth $3.67 billion, bringing his total shares to nearly 10%. This makes him the largest shareholder in the company. Shortly after, he was appointed to the Board.
Woke employees at Twitter immediately fell on their swords, horrified that someone might interfere with their ability to censor the public forum. Their sacrifices were met with laughter as Twitter users replied with a ‘serves you right’ mentality.
Twitter is the darling of Silicon Valley, but its reputation and value have plummeted since it banned former President Donald Trump and weaponised its ‘community guidelines’ to silence political dissent. The Covid era made things worse. Twitter appointed itself a verifier of ‘truth’, teaming up with Facebook fact-checkers to remove any and all Covid content that disagreed with the official line coming out of the World Health Organisation. It didn’t matter if their information was later proved wrong, Twitter’s insistence that ‘censorship equated to safety’ remained a cancer in its system.
Former CEO, founder, and Osama Bin-Laden lookalike Jack Dorsey resigned in November 2021. The year prior, he and Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg were brought in to testify before the Senate about the abuse of Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, which is meant to prevent social media entities from behaving as editors and publishers.
Social media companies have broken the rules and probably violated Antitrust laws after the Silicon Valley oligarchy routinely joined forces to erase individuals, businesses, and competitive platforms in unison. Amazon joined in, denying competitive platforms access to its services in a move that shocked the digital business world.
America’s political class have no interest in upholding the law, so it is left to the digital Wild West to sort itself out.
As Tesla CEO and SpaceX billionaire, Elon Musk is one of Twitter’s super users. With 80.3 million followers, he dwarfs Twitter’s founder Jack Dorsey (6.2 million) and current CEO Parag Agrawal (448.3 thousand). When Musk says, ‘Oh hi lol’ – 874.5 thousand people like it.
Dorsey’s departure from the platform saw stocks dive – a trend that continued when Parag Agrawal took over, a man who resembles the Spanish Inquisition. Twitter shares only surged 27% yesterday due to Elon Musk’s announcement, a sure sign that investors want the platform to ditch the duct-tape and handcuffs.
Musk long ago harnessed the power of Twitter to promote his corporate ventures and solidify his public character as a rich, bad-boy, rebel who is ‘kinda’ at war with the system, but also still making a tidy profit from it. His rogue personality tends to outweigh his weirdness and failures.
One of his most famous battles over the years has been with Twitter. Musk is a free speech absolutist and despite his close relationship with many unpalatable elites on the left, he scares the living heck out of the average social justice ‘#metoo’ safe-space warrior. Which is a good thing for everyone else.
Musk started dropping hints about the purchase when he Tweeted:
“Free speech is essential to a functioning democracy. Do you believe Twitter rigorously adheres to this principle? The consequences of this poll will be important. Please vote carefully.”
The drama of the Tweet was clearly intended to create a flurry of media. It returned a 70.4% negative response, which surprised nobody. Of the replies, thousands begged Musk to ‘buy Twitter’ and ‘save the platform’.
Musk then Tweeted:
“Given that Twitter serves as the de facto public town square, failing to adhere to free speech principles fundamentally undermines democracy. What should be done?”
And then ominously:
“Seize the memes of production!”
…if only the Twitter socialist youth were historically literate enough to catch the joke at their expense.
Billionaires and god complexes go together. Asking Musk to become the saviour of free speech plays into his vanity. In this case, what the heck… Let him. Free speech needs saving, so who cares if we deify another elite along the way? There’s plenty of room in the Pantheon.
At least Musk understands the Twitter audience. The first thing he did was put up a poll asking if people wanted an edit button. For those unfamiliar with Twitter, this is the most hotly contested feature. Every time Twitter announces an upgrade, the internet screams back, ‘Edit button!!!’
Less than a day later, Twitter has announced that it is testing an edit button. Finally. You can almost feel the stock value going on a mountain-climbing expedition.
Not everyone in conservative politics is a fan of Elon Musk. His electric vehicle empire – Tesla – puts his business interests firmly in line with renewables ideologues who sit at the feet of the Climate Change money-making machine and lay in bed beside communist China. However, Musk navigated the electric vehicle market on merit. He persevered when the government tried to ban him from displaying or selling his cars and conducted the vast majority of his sales in the era before renewables subsidies were handed out. He built the infrastructure to support his product, usually at his own cost. Musk was a pioneer with a cool product that he sold based on ‘how awesome it was’ rather than trying to emotionally guilt people into a sale, like his competitors.
Many are concerned by the grovelling being done by Twitter’s executives, but to be fair – what else are they going to do? Musk is saving their share price and owns a controlling interest. They have to exchange the usual pleasantries.
“I’m excited to share that we’re appointing @elonmusk to our board! Through conversations with Elon in recent weeks, it became clear to us that he would bring great value to our Board. He’s both a passionate believer and intense critic of the service which is exactly what we need on @Twitter, and in the boardroom, to make us stronger in the long-term. Welcome Elon!” said Parag.
To which Musk replied, “Looking forward to working with the Parag & Twitter board to make significant improvements to Twitter in coming months!”
Ex-CEO Jack added, “I’m really happy Elon is joining the Twitter board! He cares deeply about our world and Twitter’s role in it. Parag and Elon both lead with their hearts, and they will be an incredible team.”
It’s little more than corporate hand-shaking.
For the last day, BRING BACK TRUMP has been the leading trend on Twitter. Users know that Musk is keen to restore Twitter’s corporate value and dig the company out of its dubious legal hole. Bringing back Trump would make Musk a fortune, but it would definitely infuriate the rest of Twitter management. It is the equivalent of shaking a hornet’s nest over a bee hive inside a fire ant colony.
Unless the ‘powers that be’ inside America have decided that they need to get rid of Biden. In which case, his account will be restored in time for the next election.
While Musk isn’t a fan of petrol cars, he is fond of pushing nuclear energy over renewables. “Hopefully, it is now extremely obvious that Europe should restart dormant nuclear power stations and increase power output of existing ones. This is *critical* to national and international security.”
Who knows, maybe his next project will be a nuclear empire.
It’s difficult to imagine that Musk could make Twitter any worse, so let’s all hope that he helps to restore the right of free and frank discussion to the public forum.